Is it normal to miss your booty call?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
