holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
