I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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