I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
so much tequila, so little girl.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
