We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
