I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I have feelings that need drinking.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
