Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
