i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
