btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
