You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The best revenge is premature balding
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
