I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
