I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
