beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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