I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
