I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
