It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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