She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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