a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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