A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
