People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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