Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
