He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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