Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
