wrigley field is MILF paradise
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
