I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
