i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
nutella sex= disaster
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
