im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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