Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
