North Korea, Best Korea!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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