There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
