I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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