Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
