Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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