between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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