Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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