I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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