But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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