Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
