Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
