Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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