I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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