I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
