To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize