how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize