in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
