I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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