whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
