somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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