just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
