Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
