Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm like, not good at living.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
