so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
