Three words: puerto rican gang bang
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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