they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
