is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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