Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
