And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
