i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
