my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
