hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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