Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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